Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie (a man after midnight)

[tari_sue]

Author: tari_sue
Title: Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie (a man after midnight)
Rating: M for language
Pairing/s: Gwaine/Percy, background Arthur/Merlin
Character/s: Percy, Gwaine, Arthur, Merlin, Morgana, Elyan
Summary: Gwaine needs to talk less
Warnings: terrible terrible chat-up lines
Word Count: 300
Prompt: “We need to talk”
Author's Notes: yeah, ok, probably not what the prompt meant…




“Think my dick must be magnetic…” Gwaine says to the blond at the bar. “Because it’s attracted by those buns of steel.”

Percy shakes his head as the dark-haired guy standing next to ‘buns of steel’ looks worried.

Gwaine is unperturbed. “Hi, I’m Gwaine, I’m bisexual…” Percy groans and tries to tune Gwaine out. “Can I buy you a drink and then get sexual?” Despite the dirty look he gets, Gwaine decides he can sit down, pulling Percy along with him. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

“Um, hello” the other guy waves. “I’m Merlin, Arthur’s boyfriend.”

“That’s ok, I’m not the jealous type.” Gwaine winks.

Percy learnt to listen to what Gwaine doesn’t say more than what he actually does a long time ago, it helps being tall, all the babble happens further away and is easier to ignore.

By the end of the evening, Gwaine has switched his attentions from Arthur to Merlin “Your place or mine? If we flip a coin, will I get head?” For some reason, they actually help Percy get an inebriated Gwaine (I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by Merlin!) into a taxi.


***


“Hey baby, wanna sit on my lap and see what pops up?”

The resounding slap that Arthur’s sister delivers to Gwaine almost makes Percy’s face hurt.

“I think I’m in there…”


***


“What’s the difference between jam and marmalade?”

As usual, Percy has not been listening to Gwaine, but this one sinks through. “Gwaine, no!”

Gwaine ignores him as his latest target, a chap called Elyan, shakes his head.

“I can’t marmalade my cock up your— mmmph!”

Percy shuts Gwaine up the only way he can think. “You need to talk less,” he says as he breaks the kiss.

Gwaine grins. “About bloody time!” He doesn’t do much more talking that night.

Comments

[emrys_mk]

Gwaine, Gwaine, Gwaine! Gotta love him :-)

[eilonwy77.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness, how did you even come up with this? So funny. Lol Gwaine. Great job!

[clea2011]

LOL! That's so Gwaine! Very funny.

[schweet_heart.livejournal.com]

Hahaha Gwaine is incorrigible. Good on Percy for finally shutting him up XD

[tari_sue]

He's certainly a trier!

[tari_sue]

I cannot take credit for those awful chat-up lines, they came from Google :D

[tari_sue]

Well, the daisy thing wasn't working, he had to move on

[tari_sue]

He is incorrigible, but we love him!

[bunnysworld.livejournal.com]

I groaned each time Gwaine said one of his horrible pick-up lines. Good way of shutting him up, Percy!

[tari_sue]

They are pretty cringeworthy, aren't they? I hasten to add that I did not make those up!

[eilonwy77.livejournal.com]

Then you can take credit for going to Google and finding great pick up lines for Gwaine! :-D

[bunnysworld.livejournal.com]

Don't tell me it's all stuff that you've heard in RL before?

[tari_sue]

lol, thankfully not! But looking up bad chat-up lines on Google is quite amusing :)

[bunnysworld.livejournal.com]

Oh thank God!

[dreammaidenn.livejournal.com]

LOL Gwaine just never stops, thankfully Percy has the perfect solution to make him stay quiet xD

[brunettepet.livejournal.com]

Gwaine is hilariously awful. He doesn't deserve to be rewarded for it but his awful come ons still made me laugh.

[ajsrandom.livejournal.com]

Oh Gwaine . . . ya gotta love him!