The Queen

[ajsrandom.livejournal.com]

Author: ajsrandom
Title: The Queen
Rating: G
Pairing/s: none
Character/s: Gwen
Summary: Gwen Is the consummate queen.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 304
Prompt: 306, Saudade
Author's Notes: :)
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Gwen looked down at her hand again. She couldn’t help it. The court probably wondered why she did so often, though very few would really know. Those who had survived knew, and while they tried to help, they couldn’t; not really. She knew they were coping with the same kinds of feelings she carried. It helped, a little to know that.

She brought her attention back to the one in front of her. There were still duties to perform as Queen, and she knew them by heart now. Everything she used to do had been assigned to others while she took on the reins of governance. Everything she did now had to be weighed against the good of Camelot.

At the end of her day, she walked alone back to her chambers, ready for a long sleep. The big, empty bed awaited her. Her maid was waiting there to help her change, which she did then left. Now Gwen was alone and she could do the same thing she’d done every night since she’d heard the news: she fell to her knees and began to cry.

As she cried, she rubbed her engorged belly. The little one would never know its father, would never be held or loved by him. And this was what no one could understand—not only had she lost Arthur, but the child had as well.

As her tears dried, longing washed over her. She climbed into bed and curled up on her side. It wouldn’t be long until this child would be ready to face the world, and she must be ready to face the reality of what lay before her—the life would not only be more joyous but more painful. The reminder of loss would constantly be before her but she would be stoic. She would love.