Expectations
Jan. 19th, 2016 05:40 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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archaeologist_d
Title: Expectations
Rating: G
Pairing(s): Merlin & Arthur
Summary: Expectations only bring hope or the death of it.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 150
Prompt: expectations
Author's Notes: time for some angst. I would like to say I was sorry but it would be a lie.
Disclaimer: I do not own the BBC version of Merlin; BBC and Shine do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No money has changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.
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When he was a little boy, Merlin always thought that when he'd grown up, he'd no longer have to hide his magic. He'd be Ealdor's hero, perhaps even Albion's, a sorcerer fighting against injustice, beloved by all. No longer a monster, no longer hiding who or what he was. Sometimes, too excited to sleep, the very thought kept him up at night. He'd finally be able to share his magic with the world.
Years later, as he watched Arthur's body floating away, and before the punch of grief tore him apart, Merlin realized that his childish wish had come true. He no longer had to hide who or what he was.
But it didn't matter. Expectations had destroyed that little boy, expectations of a glorious destiny destroyed the man, too.
He just hoped that waiting for Arthur's return wouldn't destroy that last vestige of humanity still beating in his breast.
archaeologist_dTitle: Expectations
Rating: G
Pairing(s): Merlin & Arthur
Summary: Expectations only bring hope or the death of it.
Warnings: none
Word Count: 150
Prompt: expectations
Author's Notes: time for some angst. I would like to say I was sorry but it would be a lie.
Disclaimer: I do not own the BBC version of Merlin; BBC and Shine do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No money has changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.
----------------------------------------
When he was a little boy, Merlin always thought that when he'd grown up, he'd no longer have to hide his magic. He'd be Ealdor's hero, perhaps even Albion's, a sorcerer fighting against injustice, beloved by all. No longer a monster, no longer hiding who or what he was. Sometimes, too excited to sleep, the very thought kept him up at night. He'd finally be able to share his magic with the world.
Years later, as he watched Arthur's body floating away, and before the punch of grief tore him apart, Merlin realized that his childish wish had come true. He no longer had to hide who or what he was.
But it didn't matter. Expectations had destroyed that little boy, expectations of a glorious destiny destroyed the man, too.
He just hoped that waiting for Arthur's return wouldn't destroy that last vestige of humanity still beating in his breast.
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Date: 2016-01-19 11:27 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2016-01-20 02:08 pm (UTC)Glad you liked it.
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Date: 2016-01-20 05:43 am (UTC)expectations of a glorious destiny destroyed the man, too That's such a powerful line. Poor Merlin.
And that last line, is a fear born of grief. Very effective.
(But I choose to believe that grief passes and he didn't sit inactive over the centuries. Who knows how bad some of it would have been, if he had not stepped in and been the sorcerer fighting against injustice? *g*)
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Date: 2016-01-20 02:10 pm (UTC)I would love to think that it wasn't all bad through the centuries but that final scene of the show didn't give me much hope.
Who knows? Maybe he was Robin Hood (or other not so famous people), fighting for the less fortunate.
Glad you liked it.
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Date: 2016-01-21 05:52 am (UTC)That's really interesting. You saw that as proof that he had been mourning or disengaged with the world, for a millennium? (Forgive me if I have misunderstood you.) I saw it as almost the opposite of that - the tradition of the wanderer, the traveller - a person always on the move, finding casual work (and trouble that needs addressing) where they pause, and therefore engaging with the wider world and not hiding in one place.
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Date: 2016-01-21 06:11 pm (UTC)I don't come from a tradition of wanderers and it never occurred to me that his reactions could be interpreted the way you describe (it's certainly a more hopeful outlook). I always thought he'd feel guilty and awful as he waited for Arthur to return.
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Date: 2016-01-22 05:31 am (UTC)Some self-indulgent people (like Queen Victoria) might go into mourning for half a century, but Merlin was not self-indulgent and it was more like a millennium and a half. I can't believe that he never changed his life-style, priorities, obsessions and immediate concerns in all that time. We saw a wanderer in old man's guise, but I choose to believe that was visual shorthand, not a fixed image that summed up 1500 years of life. *g*
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